英語課上英語單詞鬧出的笑話

Ⅰ 今天下午英語課上，要表演一下口語，求大神給個英語段子，帶翻譯

英語笑話之聖誕心願
有個叫亞歷山大的小男孩寫信給聖誕老人：
「親愛的聖誕老人，去年我收到的是一個妹妹，而不是一輛賽車。也許，另一個想得到妹妹的男童卻收到了賽車。我們把那個妹妹留了下來，但現在我仍然想要一輛賽車。」
鄰居的小男孩見亞歷山大這樣寫，也趕緊給寫了一封信：
「親愛的聖誕老人，去年您雖然幫我弄到了一輛賽車，但今年我還需要一輛大一歲的新賽車。至於那個新的小妹妹，您還是留到明年送給亞歷山大吧。」
Christmas wish
Has to be called Alexander the young boy to write a letter forSanta Claus:
"Dear Santa Claus, last year I received am a younger sister, but wasnot a vehicle race. Perhaps, another wanted to obtain the youngersister the boy actually to receive the vehicle race. We have kept thatyounger sister 焉 are, but now I still wanted a vehicle race."
The neighbor young boy sees Alexander to write like this, also hurriedto give has written a letter:
"Dear Santa Claus, last year you although helped me to make a vehiclerace, but this year I also need a big year-old new vehicle race. Asfor that new little younger sister, you or will remain to the nextyear give Alexander."
英語笑話之聖誕樹
查理每年都向他老爸吵著要聖誕樹，他老爸總是說太貴了，不想買。
今年聖誕節又到了，查理的老爸實在被他吵得頭疼，於是提起斧子出了門。過了一刻鍾，老爸扛著一棵大個的聖誕樹回來了。查理高興地大叫起來，「老爸，你真了不起，才花一刻鍾就砍了這么大的一棵樹回來!」
老爸拍拍他的後腦勺說，「傻小子，砍樹哪有那麼快，我是從集市上帶回來的。」
查理問：「你不是嫌貴不想買的嗎?」
老爸說：「沒看我帶了斧子嗎?」
Christmas tree
Charlie quarrels every year to his old father is wanting theChristmas tree, his old father always said, has too expensively notwanted to buy.
This year Christmas day arrived, Charlie's old father really quarrelsby him the headache, thereupon mentioned the axe to leave the gate.Crossed the quarter of an hour, the old father carried on the shouldera big Christmas tree to come back. Charlie happily

Ⅱ 為了增加小學英語課上的趣味性，可以講哪些英語笑話，或者故事

小明上英文課時跟老師說：May I go to the toilet? 老師說：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下來。過了一會兒，小明又跟老師說：

May I go to the toilet? 老師說：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學於是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎？怎麼不去？

小明說：你沒聽老師說「去你個頭」啊！

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

一對熱戀中的男女。女生非常沒有安全感，於是對著男友說：「SAY I LOVE YOU!! SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!」

男的答道：「IT!」

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

一位在美的留學生，想要考國際駕照。在考試時因為過於緊張，看到地上標線是向左轉。

他不放心的問道:turn left？

監考官回答：right。於是他立刻向右轉……

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

某人刻苦學習英語，終有小成。一日上街不慎與一老外相撞，忙說：I am sorry。

老外應道：I am sorry too。

某人聽後又道：I am sorry three。

老外不解，問：What are you sorry for? 某人無奈，道：I am sorry five。

一次為一個初中小孩搞家教，在其英語課本上發現如下恐怖字眼： 爸死（bus) 爺死（yes) 哥死（girls） 妹死（Miss) ...... 死光（school）

Ⅲ 英語笑話，適合在課上講的，不要太長

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
中文翻譯
"法官先生，我的當事人被指控偷竊，這是多麼不公正啊。他一周前才來專到紐約，幾乎不認路。而且，屬他只會說幾個英語單詞。"
法官看了看被告，問道："你會說多少英文？"
被告抬起頭，說："把你的錢包給我！"

Ⅳ 初中時候的英語課 因為「這是誰的男人」鬧出的笑話

這是笑話了，不是問題

Ⅳ 英語課上三個人一起演講的英語幽默笑話

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there.
Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk replies, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

Ⅵ 英語課前五分鍾笑話

可以選一個

Ⅶ 英語課要上台講一個笑話，我上去用英語該怎麼說（就是同學們好我今天要講一個笑話，然後下台說聲謝謝

就直接說
Hello everyone! Today I'd like to share a joke with you.

Ⅷ 英語課堂間的小笑話

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老師

9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裡。

"喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎？" 媽媽問。

"媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。"

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

兩只鳥

老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一隻是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？

學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老師：請說說看。

學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

魚網
"你能告訴我魚網是什麼做的嗎，安？" 老師發問道。
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩回答道。
A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates
were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then
hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考試
在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。
這個問題是：為什麼在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲？
尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在後。

Ⅸ 英語課上要講笑話 2分鍾 左右 雙人對話

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子復

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢制。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」