英语课上英语单词闹出的笑话

Ⅰ 今天下午英语课上，要表演一下口语，求大神给个英语段子，带翻译

英语笑话之圣诞心愿
有个叫亚历山大的小男孩写信给圣诞老人：
“亲爱的圣诞老人，去年我收到的是一个妹妹，而不是一辆赛车。也许，另一个想得到妹妹的男童却收到了赛车。我们把那个妹妹留了下来，但现在我仍然想要一辆赛车。”
邻居的小男孩见亚历山大这样写，也赶紧给写了一封信：
“亲爱的圣诞老人，去年您虽然帮我弄到了一辆赛车，但今年我还需要一辆大一岁的新赛车。至于那个新的小妹妹，您还是留到明年送给亚历山大吧。”
Christmas wish
Has to be called Alexander the young boy to write a letter forSanta Claus:
"Dear Santa Claus, last year I received am a younger sister, but wasnot a vehicle race. Perhaps, another wanted to obtain the youngersister the boy actually to receive the vehicle race. We have kept thatyounger sister 焉 are, but now I still wanted a vehicle race."
The neighbor young boy sees Alexander to write like this, also hurriedto give has written a letter:
"Dear Santa Claus, last year you although helped me to make a vehiclerace, but this year I also need a big year-old new vehicle race. Asfor that new little younger sister, you or will remain to the nextyear give Alexander."
英语笑话之圣诞树
查理每年都向他老爸吵着要圣诞树，他老爸总是说太贵了，不想买。
今年圣诞节又到了，查理的老爸实在被他吵得头疼，于是提起斧子出了门。过了一刻钟，老爸扛着一棵大个的圣诞树回来了。查理高兴地大叫起来，“老爸，你真了不起，才花一刻钟就砍了这么大的一棵树回来!”
老爸拍拍他的后脑勺说，“傻小子，砍树哪有那么快，我是从集市上带回来的。”
查理问：“你不是嫌贵不想买的吗?”
老爸说：“没看我带了斧子吗?”
Christmas tree
Charlie quarrels every year to his old father is wanting theChristmas tree, his old father always said, has too expensively notwanted to buy.
This year Christmas day arrived, Charlie's old father really quarrelsby him the headache, thereupon mentioned the axe to leave the gate.Crossed the quarter of an hour, the old father carried on the shouldera big Christmas tree to come back. Charlie happily

Ⅱ 为了增加小学英语课上的趣味性，可以讲哪些英语笑话，或者故事

小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：

May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？

小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊！

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一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感，于是对着男友说：“SAY I LOVE YOU!! SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”

男的答道：“IT!”

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一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张，看到地上标线是向左转。

他不放心的问道:turn left？

监考官回答：right。于是他立刻向右转……

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某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry。

老外应道：I am sorry too。

某人听后又道：I am sorry three。

老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five。

一次为一个初中小孩搞家教，在其英语课本上发现如下恐怖字眼： 爸死（bus) 爷死（yes) 哥死（girls） 妹死（Miss) ...... 死光（school）

Ⅲ 英语笑话，适合在课上讲的，不要太长

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
中文翻译
"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来专到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，属他只会说几个英语单词。"
法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？"
被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！"

Ⅳ 初中时候的英语课 因为“这是谁的男人”闹出的笑话

这是笑话了，不是问题

Ⅳ 英语课上三个人一起演讲的英语幽默笑话

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there.
Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk replies, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

Ⅵ 英语课前五分钟笑话

可以选一个

Ⅶ 英语课要上台讲一个笑话，我上去用英语该怎么说（就是同学们好我今天要讲一个笑话，然后下台说声谢谢

就直接说
Hello everyone! Today I'd like to share a joke with you.

Ⅷ 英语课堂间的小笑话

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates
were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then
hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

Ⅸ 英语课上要讲笑话 2分钟 左右 双人对话

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子复

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱制。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”