高中搞笑的英語閱讀理解

『壹』 我喜歡安靜,看一些搞笑綜藝,讀一些有關時事的書英語翻譯

1.I like to read some books of beneficial mind and bodies.
2.I like most to read some campuses to make to smile novel.Because read that kind of a book,can develop an own sense of humor.
3.I always optimistic ground to life.

『貳』 六年級英語閱讀，字數么、、和練習里的差不多，最好是有點幽默的，還要有中文翻譯，篇數越多越好，有加分

建議：去外文書店買一本小學生英漢對照讀物或初級英漢對照讀物（故事或童話）。

『叄』 最近,英語老師讓我們組織了題為,你是否喜歡閱讀英語幽默故事,的討論

拍畢業照那天，一幫女生在我不遠處擺pose合影留念。我壞笑著問基友：「男生到了晚上會玩三國殺、玩dota，你說女生都玩些什麼呢？」話音剛落，聽到那群女生齊喊：「茄子！ 」

『肆』 求一篇英文幽默短文,附帶閱讀理解題目

On the first day of college,the Dean addressed the students,pointing out some of the rules:"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students,and the male dormitory to the female students.Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued:"Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60.Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180.Are there any questions?"
this point,a male student in the crowd inquired:"How much for a season pass?"

『伍』 哪裡有幽默的英語閱讀理解

推薦《新概念英語2》給你，課文不會太長，而且難度不大。雖然不是專門的閱讀理解題，但很多課文都很幽默。如果你覺得過於簡單，可以看看第三冊。去試試吧

『陸』 關於英語幽默短文運動完怎麼放鬆肌肉帶翻譯閱讀

The Policeman and the Thief
Once, a new policeman caught a thief in a small town, and decided to bring him back to the police station in the city. On their way they came to a shop where bread was sold. 「 We have no food, and we must be hungry after a while. Let me go into the shop and buy some bread for us. Wait here for me.」 The thief said.
The policeman agreed with him and waited in the street for a long time , but thief didn』t come out of the shop. The policeman began to be worried ,and ran into the shop, he couldn』t see the thief but the back door of the shop.
The policeman had to go back to the police station alone, and he was very unhappy.
Luckily, the policeman caught the thief at the same place the next day. When.they walked though the same street and the same shop, 「 Wait here,」 said the policeman 「 Last time you ran away from the shop. This time , I』ll go into the shop and buy the bread , and you must wait here for me.」

警察與小偷
一次， 一個新上任的警察在小鎮上抓住了一個小偷，他決定把這小偷押送到城裡警察局去。在路上，他們路過了一家麵包店。「我們沒帶吃的，呆會兒肯定會餓的，讓我去給咱們買點麵包。你在這等等我啊。」小偷說道。
警察同意了，並在街上等了很長一段時間，但是，小偷一直沒有從商店出來。警察開始擔心了，他跑進商店，除了一扇開著的後門，他什麼也沒看見。
警察不得不很郁悶的獨自回到了警察局。
幸運的是第二天，他在同一地方又抓住了那小偷。當他們路過同一條街，同一家商店時，「在這等著我，」警察說道，「上次，你從這家商店溜了，這次，我去買麵包，你必須在這等我！」
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
釘子還是蒼蠅?
一位視力正在衰退的老紳士住進了一家旅館的客房。他雙手各拿一瓶酒。在牆上有隻蒼蠅，他誤以為是枚釘子。他把兩只瓶子朝上一掛，瓶子掉下來摔碎了，酒灑了一地。一個女服務員發現發生的事情以後，對他深表同情，決定幫他個忙。

於是，第二天早上他到樓頂花園散步時，她把一枚釘子釘在了蒼蠅停過的地方。

這里，老人回到了房裡。倒灑的酒味讓他想起了那件事。他抬頭往牆上一看，蒼蠅又停在了那兒!他輕手輕腳地走近，使盡全力拍了一掌。聽到一聲大叫，好心的女服務員沖進房來。讓她大為吃驚的是，可憐的老頭正坐在地板上，牙關緊咬，右手滴血不止。
My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow
My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow.

A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.

"Cloth of leather?" asked the salesperson.

"Makes no difference, "replied customer.

"What color?" asked the clerk.

"Any," he responded.

"Size?"

"Give me whatever you prefer," the gentleman said, slightly

exasperated. "My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them."

反正我太太明天會來換的。

一位先生走進一家商店要買付手套。

「您是要布的還是皮的？」售貨員問。

「沒什麼區別。」這位顧客回答。

「那您要什麼顏色的呢？」售貨員又問。

「什麼顏色都成。」他回答。

「號碼呢？」

「您就隨便給我拿一付吧，」這位顧客有點不耐煩了，「反正我太太明天都會來換的。」
Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：「孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪？」 「在捕鼠夾上，先生。」那小男孩說。

『柒』 用英語翻譯中文 有80%的同學喜歡閱讀英語幽默故事

There are 80% of the students who enjoy reading funny English stories.

『捌』 一個小幽默不懂英語的人看閱讀理解的感受

不少地區接到報告，深夜時份，某個路口前都停滿了車，車主紛紛求救：「兄弟們，我現在回不了家了，前面路口的紅綠燈只有黃燈不停的一閃一閃的，咋整啊？大家幫我想想辦法？」

『玖』 適合七年級閱讀的幽默英語小故事過去式

有一個年青人復,過年回家吃團制圓飯,因回家的路上有一段墳墓,據說常常有些很詭秘的事情發生，所以母親特別交代要早一點回家。可是在坐公車回家途中,又遇到塞車,於是這個年青人就在車上睡著了,等他醒來時已經午夜十點多了,他看看車上沒有半個人,司機也不在，而車子又緩緩在行進中,還有吵雜聲,他轉頭看到外面就是那一段墳墓,他不禁感到一陣恐懼,不知所措，顫顫兢兢，於是就想探頭出去看個明白,誰知......就見司機說:「還在睡,還不快下來推車!」

『拾』 內容是美國式幽默或幽默的英語文章(閱讀理解,短文也可)

http://www.taohai.com/cn/newsdetail.asp?id=2547
這個是老友記的劇本，裡面都是美式幽默。。你可以看看～

或者
TGIF vs SHIT
a man met a blond in the elevator.
he greeted her: "T-G-I-F"
but got the reply: "S-H-I-T"
he was startled, but repeated "T-G-I-F"
again the reply was "S-H-I-T"
he was frustrated and said: "T-G-I-F, I mean Thanks God It's Friday"
the blond looked at him saying: "S-H-I-T, I mean Sorry Honey It's Thursday"

http://www.chinaunix.net/jh/33/545296.html