小學英語閱讀幽默
❶ 求小學生英語幽默故事
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl ring the whole trip.
英語幽默：士兵坐飛機有美女陪伴的高招
由於生意方面的事，羅賓遜先生得出趟門。因為有點緊急，他決定坐飛機。乘機旅行時，他喜歡靠窗坐，故而一登機，他就尋找一個靠窗的座位。他發現只有一個靠窗的座位還空著。在那空座位邊坐著一名士兵。令羅賓遜先生納悶的是，這位士兵沒有坐靠窗的位置。羅賓遜先生不管那些，他馬上徑直朝那個空座位走去。
然而，等到了那兒，他看見座位上有則啟事，是用鋼筆寫的：「為保持裝載平衡，特預設該位置，謝謝合作。」羅賓遜先生還從來沒有在飛機上見過如此不同尋常的啟事。不過，他想飛機上一定裝了什麼特別重的物品，於是他找了個不靠窗的位置。
又有兩三個乘客試圖坐在那個士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他們看到那則啟事就走開了。當快滿座時，一位非常美麗的姑娘匆匆走進機艙。一直在注意進艙旅客的那個士兵趕緊拿掉他旁邊空座位上的啟事。士兵用這種辦法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
❷ 小學英語課堂的幽默知識有哪些
咱們是同行，學生抄都說我很幽默襲，但你要讓我總結幽默語言有哪些，我還真說不好。因為幽默是一個人的性格，作為教師，在課堂教學中，會遇到許多許多突發情況，老師的性格不同，解決的方法也不相同——有的老師嚴厲、有的老師幽默……我從沒有在備課時想好在今天的課堂上用哪幾句幽默的語言，那真的是自然而然、水到渠成的事。
❸ 小學生英文幽默故事
愛因斯坦，，被公認為是自伽利略、牛頓以來最偉大的科學家、物理學家，被美專國《時代周刊》評選為「世紀偉人屬」。查理·卓別林，20世紀著名的英國喜劇演員，現代喜劇電影的奠基者，在世界范圍內享有盛譽。他們這樣的兩個人在一起會聊什麼呢?
Meeting between Einstein and Chaplin
卓別林和愛因斯坦間的搞笑英語對話
愛因斯坦：What I admire most about your art is that's universal. You don't say any word and the whole world understands you!
對於你的藝術，我最驚奇的就是它如此的國際化，你一個字也不說，但是全世界的人都懂得起。
卓別林：True. But your glory is greater! The world admires you while no one understands you!
這個我承認，但是你的榮譽更大，你的東西全世界的人都懂不起，但他們還是如此敬佩你。
❹ 小學生英文幽默故事的本書目錄
Unit 1a，e，i，o，u的發音
第一單元 神奇的果園
Lesson One a [æ] A Cat』s Foreign Language老鼠的外語
Lesson Two a [ei] It Is Part of the Game這是游戲的一部分
Lesson Three e [e] The Best Present最好的禮物
Lesson Four i [i] I Have His Ear in My Pocket他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢
Lesson Five i [ai] My Dog Doesn』t Bite我的狗不咬人
Lesson Six o [ɔ] I Was Not Lost.我沒有迷路
Lesson Seven o [əu] I Broke Them All我把它們都敲破了
Lesson Eight u [ʌ] A Man with a Gun持槍男人
Lesson Nine u [ju:] Just Use a Pencil就用鉛筆吧
快樂總復習Who picks more apples? 誰摘到更多的蘋果？
Unit2 ar，er，ir，or，ur的發音
第二單元 開心農場
Lesson Ten ar [ɑ:] ASmartAnswer聰明的回答
Lesson Eleven er [ə] I』m the Driver我是司機
Lesson Twelve ir [ə:] A Bedtime Story about Birds關於鳥的睡前故事
Lesson Thirteen or [ɔ：] A Bad School Report差的成績單
Lesson Fourteen ur [ə:] The Nurse Should Give Me Some Money護士應該給我錢
快樂總復習Who lays more eggs? 誰下的蛋多？
Unit3 oa，oi，oo，ou，ow的發音
第三單元 奇妙的泡泡
Lesson Fifteen oa [əu] A Different Roast Every Day每天的烤肉都不同
Lesson Sixteen oi [ɔi] A Noisy Girl and Five Hundred Ducks一個吵鬧的女孩和500隻鴨子
Lesson Seventeen oo [u] A Lazy Brook懶惰的布魯克
Lesson Eighteen oo [u:] She Is a Fool她是傻瓜
Lesson Nineteen ou [au] Other Moms Also Want to Be Proud 其他媽媽也想驕傲
Lesson Twenty ow [əu] Follow the Flies跟著蒼蠅走
Lesson Twenty-One ow[au] It』s Raining Now.正在下雨呢
快樂總復習Who blows more bubbles? 誰吹的泡泡多？
Unit4 ee，ie，ue，ea，ai，aw的發音
第四單元 美麗的項鏈
Lesson Twenty-Two ee[i:] That』s Why I Keep the Bigger One那就是我為什麼要留大些的
Lesson Twenty-Three ie[i:]. Take This Piece and Cut It into Two拿走這塊，然後切成兩塊
Lesson Twenty-Four ue[u:] Who Put Glue on My Chair誰把膠水弄到我的椅子上
Lesson Twenty-Five ea[i:] Before a Meal Or After a Meal飯前還是飯後
Lesson Twenty-Six ea[e] Hit on the Head with a Cake 用蛋糕打頭
Lesson Twenty-Seven ai[ei] Did She Miss the Train她誤火車了嗎
Lesson Twenty-Eight aw [ɔ:] To Draw Out All His Savings去取出他的全部存款
快樂總復習Who makes a longer pearl necklace? 誰做的珍珠項鏈長？
Unit5 y，ay，ey，oy的發音
第五單元 采蘑菇
Lesson Twenty-Nine y [i] Who Is Lazy誰偷懶
Lesson Thirty y [ai] But My Teacher Cried可我的老師哭了
Lesson Thrity-One ay [ei]. You Can』t SayNo to the Teacher你不能對老師說「不」
Lesson Thirty-Two ey[i] A Good Way to Ask for Money要錢的好方法
Lesson Thirty-Three oy [ɔi] Little Roy』s New Trousers小羅伊的新褲子
快樂總復習 Who picks more mushroom? 誰採到更多的蘑菇？
Unit 6 are，air，ire，ear，eer的發音
第六單元 魔力氣球
Lesson Thirty-Four are [ɛə] He Scared Patients Out of My Office他把病人從我診所里嚇跑了
Lesson Thirty-Five air [ɛə] So Little Hair and So Much Hair 這么少和這么多的頭發
Lesson Thirty-Six ire[aiə] Your House Is on Fire你的房子著火了
Lesson thirty-Seven ear [iə]/[ɛə ] Feeding the Teller with a Pear用梨喂出納員
Lesson Thirty-Eight eer [iə] There Is Only One Deer只有一隻梅花鹿
快樂總復習 Who can fly? 誰能飛起來？
Unit 7 C，ck，ch，tch的發音
第七單元垂釣者的樂園
Lesson Thirty-Nine c + a/e/ i/o/u [k]/[s] Only One Cake Left只剩下一個蛋糕了
Lesson Forty c在結尾 [k] A Magic Stove神奇的爐灶
Lesson Forty-One ck [k] One More Ticket再來一張票
Lesson Forty-Two ch/tch [tʃ] Watching TV with a Candle on點著蠟燭看電視
快樂總復習Who gets more fish? 誰能釣到更多的魚？
Unit 8 n，nk，ng，ing的發音
第八單元省錢小能手
Lesson Forty-Three n [n] Bring Me the Winner把獲勝方拿給我
Lesson Forty-Four nk[ŋk] Why Do You Drink So Much Water你為什麼喝這么多水
Lesson Forty-Five ng [ŋ] A Father with Long Hair長發爸爸
Lesson Forty-Six ing [iŋ] Shake It to Ring搖一下就會響
快樂總復習Who gets more lollipops with less money? 誰花錢少，買的棒棒糖多？
Unit 9 x，l，r，dr，tr的發音
第九單元妙手園丁
Lesson Forty-Seven x [ks] A Text Message手機簡訊
Lesson Forty-Eight l[l] Wake Up. Time for Sleeping Pills.醒醒，該吃安眠葯了
Lesson Forty-Nine r [r] Sorry I Don』t Want to Buy Them對不起，我不想買了
Lesson Fifty dr [ dr] Our Driver Is Very Poor我們的司機很窮
Lesson Fifty-One tr [tr] Having Trouble Seeing Things看不清東西
快樂總復習Who saves more flowers? 誰救活了更多的花兒？
Unit 10 ge/dge，gh/ ph，sh，th，s+清輔音，igh，qu，tw
第十單元 妙手拋球
Lesson Fifty-Two ge/dge [dʒ] I Change My Mind我改主意了
Lesson Fifty-Three gh/ph [f] It』s Not Enough, Either.那也不夠呀
Lesson Fifty-Four sh[ʃ] Who Broke the Dishes?誰把盤子摔破了
Lesson Fifty-Five th [θ] Your Face and Mouth Tell Me That你的臉和嘴告訴我的
Lesson Fifty-Six th [ð] One More Father再來一個爸爸
Lesson Fifty-Seven s +k/p/t [sg/sb/sd] I Thought You Called Another Student我以為你叫另一個學生
Lesson Fifty-Eight igh [ai] He Was Too Busy Last Night他昨晚太忙了
Lesson Fifty-Ninequ [qw] Who Can Answer My First Question誰能回答我第一個問題
Lesson Sixty tw [tw] Twice Twenty二十的兩倍
快樂總復習Who can throw up more balls?誰能拋起更多的球？
我是如何幫助林克進行英語閱讀的？
編寫花絮
❺ 求幾篇小學英語幽默小故事，要中英文對照
Bad Day——倒霉的一天
There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink. He stayed like that for half an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him, took the drink from the guy, and drank it all down.
The poor man started crying. The truck driver said, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I was late getting to my office. My boss was outrageous, and fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and when I left it, I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drove away. When I got home, I found my wife in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
一個男人坐在酒吧里，看著自己的酒發呆。他這個樣子已經有半個小時了。這時，一個好惹事的卡車司機走到他旁邊，從他手裡一把搶過酒杯，把酒喝了個精光。
可憐的男人大哭起來。卡車司機說，「拜託，哥們，我只是在和你開個玩笑。這樣吧，我再給你買一杯，我實在受不了看著一個大男人哭。」
「不，不是那樣的。今天是我這輩子最倒霉的日子。首先，我上班遲到了，我的老闆是個蠻橫的傢伙，他把我炒了。當我離開辦公樓去取車時，發現我的車被偷了,警察卻說他們對此無能為力。於是我只好打車回家，下了車，我發現錢包和信用卡都落在了車上，但那個計程車司機已經把車開走了。我回到家，發現我老婆和園丁正在床上鬼混。我離開家，來到這個酒吧。而現在，正當我考慮要結束我的生命，你出現了，還喝了我的毒酒。」
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl ring the whole trip.
英語幽默：士兵坐飛機有美女陪伴的高招
由於生意方面的事，羅賓遜先生得出趟門。因為有點緊急，他決定坐飛機。乘機旅行時，他喜歡靠窗坐，故而一登機，他就尋找一個靠窗的座位。他發現只有一個靠窗的座位還空著。在那空座位邊坐著一名士兵。令羅賓遜先生納悶的是，這位士兵沒有坐靠窗的位置。羅賓遜先生不管那些，他馬上徑直朝那個空座位走去。
然而，等到了那兒，他看見座位上有則啟事，是用鋼筆寫的：「為保持裝載平衡，特預設該位置，謝謝合作。」羅賓遜先生還從來沒有在飛機上見過如此不同尋常的啟事。不過，他想飛機上一定裝了什麼特別重的物品，於是他找了個不靠窗的位置。
又有兩三個乘客試圖坐在那個士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他們看到那則啟事就走開了。當快滿座時，一位非常美麗的姑娘匆匆走進機艙。一直在注意進艙旅客的那個士兵趕緊拿掉他旁邊空座位上的啟事。士兵用這種辦法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
❻ 小學生 英語幽默小短文
The Three Lazy Ones
A king had three sons whom he loved equally well， and he did not know which of them to appoint as king following his own death.
When the time came for him to die he called them to his bed and said， 「Dear children， I have thought of something that I will reveal to you. The one of you is the laziest shall become king after me.」
The oldest one said， 「Father， then the kingdom belongs to me， for I am so lazy that whenever I lie down to sleep， and a drop falls into my eyes， I will not even close them so that I can fall asleep.」
The second one said， 「Father， the kingdom belongs to me， for I am so lazy that when I am sitting by the fire warming myself， I would rather let my heels burn up than to pull my legs back.」
The third one said， 「Father， the kingdom is mine， for I am so lazy that if I were going to be hanged and already had the rope around my neck， and someone put into my hand a sharp knife with which to cut the rope， I would let myself be hanged rather than to lift my hand up to the rope.」
在一個遙遠的地方，有一個國王，他有三個兒子，對每一個兒子他都非常喜愛，他不知道自己死後應該把王位傳給他們三個中的哪一個。所以，當他快要死的時候，就把他們叫到身邊說：「親愛的孩子們，在我死後，你們三個中誰最懶，誰就繼承我的王位。」老大說：「既然這樣，這王位就是我的，因為我是最懶的兒子，當我躺下睡覺時，有任何東西落到我的眼睛裡，我也懶得去擦掉，即使不能把眼睛閉上，我仍然會繼續睡覺。」二兒子說：「爸爸，王位應該傳給我，因為我是最懶的兒子。當我坐在火邊取暖的時候，就是火燃到我的腳趾，我也懶得把腿收回來。」第三個兒子說：「爸爸，這王位是我的，因為我是你最懶的兒子，如果我就要被吊起來，繩子已經套在了脖子上，有人把一把鋒利的小刀塞在我手裡，要我切斷繩子，我寧願被吊起來也懶得抬起手把繩子割斷。」
❼ 小學英語幽默 短文
(1)幽默短文 Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由於開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：「你是學校的老師，對嗎？女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的願望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫『我開車闖了紅燈』500遍。
(2)幽默小短文 I work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個好朋友在醫院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第一個男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了一會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最後,護士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興,但第四個夥伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝並用頭撞牆.他們問他有什麼不對勁,他回答道:"什麼不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
❽ 小學的英語幽默小短文！！！！越短越好
I know who God is!
A boy says to her mother, "Mom, is God a man or woman?"
The mom thinks a while and says, "Well, son, God is both man and woman."
The son is confused, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
The mother replies, "God is both black and white, honey."
The son, still curious, says after a while, "Is God gay or straight, mommy?"
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, "Son, God is both gay and straight."
The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: "Is God Michael Jackson?"
【2】
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
A little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right." said a gentleman. " Don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb. 'Barking dogs don't bite'?"
"Ah, yes." answered the little boy. " I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too.
Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.
"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."
He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.
"What's that, Bobby?" "
Horsey, " said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"
布朗非常欣賞他的小兒子。一次他和一位客人聊他的兒子有多聰明。 布朗說：「他只有兩歲，就認識所有的動物了。他長大一定會是一個出色的自然學家。來，我讓你看看。」
他從書架上拿下一本自然書，把博比抱到膝上，打開書。指著一張長頸鹿的畫片。
「博比，這是什麼？」 「馬馬，」博比回答。 他又指了一張老虎的畫片，博比回答說：「貓咪。」 然後布朗又指了一張獅子的畫片，博比說：「狗狗。」 他又指了一張黑猩猩的畫片，博比說：「爸爸！」 [注]horsey: 馬（兒語） pussy：貓咪（兒語）
❾ 小學英語情景幽默對話大全四人
第一篇
Mike(M) Danny(C), Tommy(T)---classmates
地點:Scene----in the college dorm大學宿舍
Danny is playing a computer game on his laptop. Tommy is sleeping.
Mike came back from a morning jogging.
M: hi, Dan, what are u doing?
D: I am playing war craft.
M: Where is Tommy?
D: Shiiiii!
M:What? What's the matter?
D: Don't u see? He is still sleeping.
M: My goodness! I can't believe this! It』s almost nine. He got to get up now. Don't u remember we are required to make up a three people dialogue for tomorrow's oral class?
D: Yes, I do. You wake up Tommy and I will play one more round of war craft.
M: You'd better stop playing right now. We don't have much time to prepare this dialogue. Tommy! Tommy! Wake up! Time to wake up!
T:five more minutes, please.
Mike: No way, Jose. Time really flies.We still have a lot to do. Hurry up.
T: (Tommy sits up in his bed) Can I lie down two more minutes, please, just two more minutes? when Danny finishes his game, I will be fine.(Yawns) I don't know why I am so so sleepy. (Tommy lies down again.)
M: Guys!!! I am really angry now. Time waits for nobody. If you two don't stop what you are doing now, I will find somebody else to be my partners.
D and T: all right. All right. We listen to u.
M: That's more like it. We need will power.
D and T: what is will power?
M: Will power is trying hard not to do something that you really want to do.
D: You mean like trying not to play war craft?
Mike: right.
T: you mean like trying not to stay up late?
M: right.
Danny turns off his computer. Tommy gets up and goes to the bathroom.
Two minutes later the three maskeetters are working on their assignment.
Danny: Mike, can I take a little break? Let me play one round and we will continue our work?
Tommy: Mike, Can I lie down a minute? My back hurts.
Mike: No! No! No! Let's finish our work first before we do anything. We need will power!!!
Danny and Tommy: that's true. We need will power! We listen to you.
第二篇
TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
湯姆的借口
老師：湯姆，您為什麼每天上學遲到？
湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個苯蛋了!"
吉姆說:"你媽媽能!"
附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個笑話正是根據這點.
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個苯蛋了!"
吉姆說:"你媽媽能!"
附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個笑話正是根據這點.
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鍾."最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鍾."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,」Did you buy a good box of matches?」
「Yes,Mum.」Tommy replied,」I have tried them all.」