英語小閱讀帶翻譯簡短

A. 求10篇很短很短的英語小短文，帶翻譯的！

1THE NEWSPAPER 報 紙
Nowadays the newspaper possesses considerable value Everybody should read it. It supplies us with a variety of news every day. It tells us the political situation of the world. If we form the habit of reading the newspaper, we shall (will) get enough knowledge to cope with our circumstances.
現今報紙擁有極大的價值，人人都應該看它。它每天提供我們各種類類的消息。它告訴我們世界政治局勢。如果我們養成看報的習慣，我們就能得到足夠的知識來因應我們的環境。
學生雖然每天須做功課，但他們至少應該勻出一兩個小時來看報。哪些，他們不但能增加知識而且也能趕上時代。總而言之，看報對學生很有益處。

2MY DAILY LIFE 我的日常生活
Though my daily life is extremely monotonous, I try hard to adapt myself to it. Why? Because I intend to be a good student. I wish to render service to my country.
I get up at six o』clock every day. After I wash my face and brush my teeth, I begin to review my lessons. I go to school at seven o』clock.
After school is over, I return home. We usually have supper at seven o』clock.
Then I begin to do my homework. I want to finish it before I go to bed.
雖然我的日常生活十分單調，但我卻竭力設法去適應它。為什麼？因為我打算做一個好學生，希望將來為國家服務。
我每天六點起床、洗臉刷牙後，就開始復習功課，七點鍾我就去上學。
放學後，我就回家了。我們通常在七點鍾吃晚餐，之後我就開始做家庭作業，希望在睡覺前把它做完。

3A MODEL STUDENT 模範學生
Do you mind being called a bad student? Of course not. So far as I know, everybody intends to be (become) a model student.
However, to be a model student is by no means an easy thing. First, he must do his best to obtain knowledge. A man without sufficient knowledge will not succeed. Secondly, he must remember to improve his health. Only a strong man can do great tasks. Thirdly, he should receive moral ecation. If his conct is not good, no one will consider making friends with him.
你價意被稱為壞學生嗎？當然不。就我所知，每個人都打算做模範學生。
然而，做模範學生卻不容易。第一，他必須盡力獲得知識（求知）。一個沒有足夠知識的人是不會成功的。第二，他必須記住促進健康。只有強壯的人才能做大事。第三，他應該接受道德教育。如果他品行不好，沒有人會考慮和他交朋友的。

4HOW TO GET HAPPINESS 如何獲得快樂
There is no doubt that happiness is the most precious thing in the world. Without it, life will be empty and meaningless. If you wish to know how to get happiness, you must pay attention to the following two points.
First, health is the secret of happiness (the key to happiness). Only a strong man can enjoy the pleasure of life.
Secondly, happiness consists in contentment. A man who is dissatisfied with his present condition is always in distress.
無疑的快樂是世界上最寶貴的東西。沒有它，人生將是空虛的而且毫無意義的。如果你希望知道如何獲得快樂，你須注意下面兩點。
健康是快樂的要訣。唯有身體強壯的人才能享受人生的樂趣。

5Osaka 大阪
Osaka is located at the approximate center of Japan. Covering an area of approximately 1,890 square kilometers, it has a population of 8.8 million, making it the second most populous prefecture after Tokyo. Furthermore, approximately 210,000 foreigners, or 15.6% of all foreigners registered in Japan reside in Osaka. Geographically Osaka extends from north to south, with a slight curve, open toward Osaka Bay on the west and surrounded by mountains on the other three sides. The weather is generally mild, with four distinct seasons. The annual average temperature is 61.3F, and average precipitation is 1,318mm.
大阪位於在日本的近似中心。報道面積的大約1,890 平方公里, 它有人口8.8 百萬, 做它次要個人口眾多的專區在東京以後。此外, 大約210,000 個外國人, 或15.6% 所有外國人登記在日本居住在大阪。大阪延伸從北到南, 與輕微的曲線, 地理上打開往大阪海灣在西部和由山圍攏在其它三邊。天氣一般是溫和的, 以四個分明季節。每年平均溫度是61.3F, 並且平均降雨雪是1,318mm 。

5Love Your Life 熱愛生活
However mean your life is,meet it and live it ;do not shun it and call it hard names.It is not so bad as you are.It looks poorest when you are richest.The fault-finder will find faults in paradise.Love your life,poor as it is.You may perhaps have some pleasant,thrilling,glorious hourss,even in a poor-house.The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich man's abode;the snow melts before its door as early in the spring.I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there,and have as cheering thoughts,as in a palace.The town's poor seem to me often to live the most independent lives of any.May be they are simply great enough to receive without misgiving.Most think that they are above being supported by the town;but it often happens that they are not above supporting themselves by dishonest means.which should be more disreputable.Cultivate poverty like a garden herb,like sage.Do not trouble yourself much to get new things,whether clothes or friends,Turn the old,return to them.Things do not change;we change.Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
不論你的生活如何卑賤，你要面對它生活，不要躲避它，更別用惡言咒罵它。它不像你那樣壞。你最富有的時候，倒是看似最窮。愛找缺點的人就是到天堂里也能找到缺點。你要愛你的生活，盡管它貧窮。甚至在一個濟貧院里，你也還有愉快、高興、光榮的時候。夕陽反射在濟貧院的窗上，像身在富戶人家窗上一樣光亮；在那門前，積雪同在早春融化。我只看到，一個從容的人，在哪裡也像在皇宮中一樣，生活得心滿意足而富有愉快的思想。城鎮中的窮人，我看，倒往往是過著最獨立不羈的生活。也許因為他們很偉大，所以受之無愧。大多數人以為他們是超然的，不靠城鎮來支援他們；可是事實上他們是往往利用了不正當的手段來對付生活，他們是毫不超脫的，毋寧是不體面的。視貧窮如園中之花而像聖人一樣耕植它吧！不要找新的花樣，無論是新的朋友或新的衣服，來麻煩你自己。找舊的，回到那裡去。萬物不變，是我們在變。你的衣服可以賣掉，但要保留你的思想。

6Liuxiang(劉翔）-the flying man in the world!

Liuxiang made a perfect fly in the olympic games in 2004, and won not only the gold metal but also the respect in the world!
His fly knocked all the suspicions and discriminations down completely!
"It is so perfect! I never expect to run so fast! Oh it is a dream to me, and it seems I am still in a dream!", he said!
But it is just true, and it is himself who made the dream into truth!
Xiuxiang, our hero, has been regarded as a flying man all of the world!
劉翔-世界飛人
劉翔在2004年的奧林匹克運動會上完美的沖刺，不僅贏得了金牌，而且贏得了世界的尊重。
他的飛翔打破了所有的懷疑和所有的種族歧視．
」太完美了．我從來沒想到跑這末快.哦，對我來說就像做夢，看起來我好像還在夢中。「他說到。
但這是真的。是他自己使得美夢成真。
劉翔，我們的英雄，他已經贏得了世界飛人的尊稱。

7My family
I love my family, because I have a happy family.
My father is an English teacher. His name is Jacky. He is thirty-eight. He likes playing basketball. What』s my mother job? Is she a teacher? Yes, you』re right! My mother is very kind and nice, she is thirty-seven. My mother is always laborious work. I love my parents!
On Saturday and Sunday, I often go to the library and play the piano, My father go to play basketball. Sometimes, we watch TV and listen to music at home.
I love my family. Because I』m very happy to live with my parents together!
我的家庭
我愛我的家庭,因為我有一個快樂的家庭.
我的爸爸是一名英語教師,他的名字叫Jacky.他今年38歲.他非常喜歡打籃球.我的媽媽是趕什麼呢?她是一名教師嗎?是的.你說對了!我的媽媽是一個很親切、友善的人,她今年37歲.我媽媽總是勤勞的幹活.我愛我的父母.
在星期六和星期天里,我經常去圖書館和彈鋼琴.我爸爸去打籃球.有時侯,我們都在家看電視和聽音樂.
我愛我家.因為我和爸爸媽媽一起生活得很開心!

8Lan and Fred
Lan and Fred were boys. They were both twelve years old, and they were in the same class in their school. Last Friday afternoon they had a fight in class, and their teacher was very angry. He said to both of them, 「Stay here after the lessons this afternoon, and write your names a thousand times.」 After the last lesson, all the other boys went home, but Lan and Fred stayed in the classroom with their teacher and begin writing their names.
Then Fred began crying.
The teacher looked at him and said,」 Why are you crying, Fred?」
「Because his name』s Lan May, and mine』s Frederick Hollingsworth,」 Fred said.
易恩和富雷得

易恩和富雷得都是男孩，他們都十二歲了。他們在學校里是同班同學。上周五下午他們在學校里打了一架。為此老師很生氣。老師對他們說：「下午下課後留在著把你們的名字寫一千遍。」
最後一節課下課，所有的學生都回家了。只有易恩和富雷得被他們的老師留在教師里抄寫他們的名字。
接著富雷得哭了起來。
老師看了看他問：「富雷得，你為什麼要哭呢？」
「因為他的名字是Lan May, 而我的名字確是Frederick Hollingsworth，」富雷得回答道。

B. 英語小短文 一個帶翻譯簡單很短的英語小短文； 急。

Skating
Mom
bought
me
a
pair
of
skating
shoes
at
my
fifth
birthday.
From
then
on,
I
developed
the
hobby
of
skating.
It
not
only
makes
me
stronger
and
stronger,
but
also
helps
me
know
many
truths
of
life.
I
know
that
it
is
normal
to
fall,
and
if
only
you
can
get
on
your
feet
again
and
keep
on
moving,
you
are
very
good!
滑冰
媽媽買了我一雙冰鞋鞋子在我的專第五個生日。
從那時屬起，我愛好滑冰。
它不僅使我越來越加強，而且幫助我知道生活許多真諦。
我知道摔倒是正常的，並且，如果只有你能摔倒後再站起來，就是非常好!

C. 10篇60字英語小短文（帶翻譯）

Man』s dearest possession is life. It is given to him but once, and he must live it so as to feel no torturing regrets for wasted years, never know the burning shame of a mean and petty past; so live that, dying, he might say: all my life, all my strength were given to the finest cause in all the world—the fight for the Liberation of Mankind.

人生最寶貴的是生命。生命對於人來說只有一次。一個人的生命應該這樣度過：當他回首往事時，不因虛度年華而悔恨；也不會因為碌碌無為而羞恥。在臨死的時候他能夠說：我的整個生命和全部精力都已經獻給了世界上最壯麗的事業――為人類的解放事業而斗爭！

夏天：
Summer is the great season for all sports in the open air. It is the season for football which is often called the national sport because of its popularity. I usually watch television and read the newspaper reports about the football results of the little leagues. During the summer I like to go to the beach often because it is very close to my home. I usually go there ring the summer vacation to relax after many months in school in the city. I feel very comfortable with the familiar quiet life of the villagers.
夏天是戶外運動最好的季節.這是一個橄欖球的季節,橄欖球由於廣受歡迎被稱為全民運動.我常常看電視,看報紙,從報道中獲得小聯盟橄欖球賽的比賽結果.夏日裡,我喜歡經常去海灘,因為那裡離我家不遠.在城裡的學校呆了幾個月後,暑假我常常去那裡放鬆一下.此處有我很熟悉的村民們的寧靜生活,這讓我倍感舒適.
秋天：Autumn
For me the autumn or fall starts in September when school starts its new term. I usually do some shopping. The mild weather made it very nice to study outside under the trees in a small park close to my house. I like to look up the leaves changing colors from green to red and yellow, and then brown colors. The park also has many bright fall flowers; sometimes I see a small squirrel coming down from the tree to hunt for food on the ground. On the weekends, I sometimes like to fly my kite. Usually on the street corners you can see street peddlers selling warm baked sweet potatoes. This is a nice time of the year.
我覺得秋天是在9月份新學期開始的時候來臨.我常常要去買一些東西.宜人的天氣讓我感覺在離家不遠的小公園的樹下學習是件非常愜意的事.我喜歡抬起頭看蓍枝頭上的樹葉由綠變紅,變黃,然後再變褐.公園里還有許多鮮艷的秋花.有時我會見到小松鼠從樹上跳到地上覓食.在周末,我有時會去放風箏.在街頭的拐角處,常常會有街頭小販在賣烤紅薯.秋天是一年中的好時節.

冬天：Winter
Winter is very cold and windy in most parts of China. I usually look forward to the Spring Festival and the winter holiday when I can go to the south where the climate is warmer ring these holidays. Also, I look forward to seeing my grandparents and my friends. Winter is the time everyone is in a festive mood. In the city, I usually do a lot of reading at home in the winter because of eh cold weather outside.
中國大部分地區的冬天是即冷又有風的。我總是盼望著春節或寒假，到時候我就可以去南方了，當地的氣候在這時會暖和的多。我也盼望著去探望我的祖父母和我的朋友。冬天，每個人都懷著喜慶的心情。在城裡，冬天的時候我經常待在家裡盡情地看書，因為外面的天氣非常的冷。

Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year is the most important festival for Chinese people all over the world. It is also called the Spring Festival or the Lunar New Year. The exact date of the Spring Festival on the Western calendar changes from year to year. However, Chinese New Year takes place between January 1 and February 19.
On the Chinese calendar every year has an animal's name. These animals are the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, ram, monkey, rooster, dog and pig. A Chinese legend says that these twelve animals had a race. The first year was named after the rat, the winner. The other eleven years were named according to the order in which the animals arrived in the race. The clever rat jumped onto the ox's back, and then at the end jumped over the ox's head to arrive first!
The Chinese believe that a person born in a particular year has some of the characteristics of that animal.

春 節
對於全世界的華人來說，中國的新年是最重要的節日。人們也稱它為春節或農歷新年。 公歷春節的確切日期每年都在變化。但是春節一般都在 1 月 1 日 到 2 月 18. 日 之間。 在農歷中，每年都有一個生肖。這些生肖是鼠、牛、虎、兔、龍、蛇、馬、羊、猴、雞、狗和豬。據傳說，這十二個動物舉行了一次賽跑，第一年就以獲勝者鼠命名，其他十一年就根據動物們到達終點的順序命名。聰明的鼠跳在牛背上，在最後時刻跳過牛的頭頂第一個到達終點！
中國人相信在某一年出生的人具有這一年生肖的一些特徵

The Toad and the Frog

A toad saw a frog near the road. He was a fat old frog. He sat and moaned and groaned.
The toad said, 「Do not moan and groan, Mr. Frog. Hop like me. Hop down the road.」
So the frog and the toad went down the road to a big oak tree.
「I am home,」 said the toad. 「Come in and I will make tea.」
But Mr. Frog said, in a deep croak, 「I must not roam far from home. I will be off to my home near the pond.」

癩蛤蟆和青蛙
一隻癩蛤蟆在路邊看到一隻青蛙。那是只又胖又老的青蛙。他坐在那裡呻吟嘆息著。
癩蛤蟆說：「青蛙先生，不要呻吟嘆息了。像我一樣跳吧。沿著這條路跳。」
所以青蛙和癩蛤蟆一起沿著小路跳到一棵大橡樹下。
「我到家了，」癩蛤蟆說，「進來吧，我來泡茶。」
但青蛙用低沉的聲音說：「我不能在離家遠的地方閑逛，我要回我在池塘邊上的家。」

Two Dumplings

A young man had a small business. He worked very hard, and he made a lot of money. One day, he had dinner with a businessman. He wanted the man to become his business partner. When they finished the dinner, there were two mplings left.
The young man told the waitress: "Please pack them in a doggy bag and I'd like to take them home.Soon the businessman decided to work together with the young man. He said, "The young man is great. He has lots of money but he won't waste it

兩個餃子
一個年輕人做了點小生意。他工作很努力，所以他賺到了許多錢。一天，他和一個商人吃飯。他希望那個人成為他的生意夥伴。當他們吃完飯後，還剩下兩個餃子。
年輕人告訴服務員小姐：「請把這兩個餃子打包，我要帶回家去。」很快，這個商人就決定和這個年輕人一起做生意了。他說：「這個年輕人很好。他有很多錢但他不浪費。」

.Yesterday was my birthday, so some of my classmates sent me presents. Mother prepared a tea party for me. I invited all of them to come and take part in it.The tea party began at half past six. There were cold drinks and refreshments. We ate, talked and laughed. We felt that we were the happiest men in the world
昨天是我生日，所以有幾位我的同班同學送我禮。母親給我准備一個茶會。我邀請他們都前來參加。茶會下午六點半開始。有冷飲和點心。我們又吃又談又笑。我們覺得是世界上最快樂的人。。

I like the Chinese new year better than any other festival. This is a time especially for rest and joy. I need not study. I wear good clothes and eat good food. I have a good time from morning till night. I am as happy as a king.
我喜歡中國新年比喜歡其它任何節日更甚。這是一個專為休息和歡樂的時間。我不需要讀書。我穿好衣服，吃好東西。我每天從早到晚日子過得輕松愉快。我和上帝一樣快樂。

No sooner had the witer vacation begun than I returned to my native town. Of course I
must make good use of it;.In the morning I reviewed my lessons and read newspapers or magazines. In the afternoon I played ball games with my friends or went fishing in the river. At night I watched television with my family. hardly had the clock on the wall struck ten when I went to bed.
寒假剛一開始，我就回故鄉了。自然我須好好利用它。 早晨我復習功課並閱讀報紙或雜志。下午我和朋友打球，或去河中釣魚。晚上我就和家人看看電視。牆上的鍾剛敲十下，我就去睡覺了。

I live very happily today! In the morning, it is very fine! Then I climb the mountain with family, the air on the mountain is very fresh, the flowers plants and trees on the mountain all seem extremely beautiful. Coming back home in the evening, family and I sat and watched TV together, we are returning and eating the fruit while chatting, the whole family is happy and harmonious!
今天我過得非常開心！早上，天氣非常好！於是我和家人一起去登山，山上的空氣非常清新，山上的花草樹木都顯得格外美麗。晚上回到家，我與家人坐在一起看電視，我們還一邊聊天一邊吃著水果，全家其樂融融

D. 英語小故事帶翻譯20字簡單的哦

Which
do
you
find
more
important,
money
or
friends?
B:
Friends,
of
course.
A:
Why?
B:
I
can
always
borrow
money
from
friends.
錢和朋友
甲：你認為錢和朋友哪一個更重要？
乙：當然是朋友。
甲：為什麼？
乙：我總可以從內朋友那兒借到錢容

E. 英語小故事帶翻譯20字簡單的哦

1、 Robert

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday？""I gave it to a poor old woman,"

he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents

more. But why are you so interested in the old woman？""She is the one who sells the candy."

譯文：好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」「我給了一個可憐的老太婆,」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子,」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。

可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」「她是個賣糖果的。」

2、One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.On my return, I noticed that how sty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.

When I finally entered the house, I called out.'The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.'

My husband looked up and said, 'Mom's here?'

譯文：一天晚上我開著丈夫的車去購物，回來後發現車身沾滿灰塵，於是擦洗了一陣。

當我終於走進屋裡時大聲喊：「世界上最愛你的女人剛擦洗了你的車燈和擋風玻璃。」我丈夫抬頭看了看，說：「媽媽來了？」

3、Today I'm very happy,after I have breakfast,I go to park.It's a sunny day ,the bird is singing,I'm singing too.

hen I get to park,I see some girls are playing games ,so I join them.We play very happy.

Then I have lunch with my friends.We both have a good time.what's a happy day!

原文翻譯：今天我非常愉快，在我吃早餐之後，我去公園。它是晴天，鳥正唱歌，我也開始唱歌。然後，我到了公園。我看見一些女孩正做游戲，我也參加了。我們玩得很高興。

我們一起吃午餐。我們過了美好的時光.這是一個快樂的一天。

4、Our Tails譯：我們的尾巴

The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours.

then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question

if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"

譯：教進化論的老師已經滔滔不絕地講了快兩個小時，他的話題又來了：「讓我向進化論者提個問題——如果我們曾經像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那麼現在尾巴到哪裡去了？

"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long."

譯：「我來試試看，」一位老太太說。 「該是我們在這里坐這么久把它們磨掉了吧。」

5、「I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling yourboy'stooth .」

「Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!」

「Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .」

譯文：

「對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。」

「20美元！為什麼？不是說好只要4美元。」

「是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。」

F. 要英語小短文，帶翻譯的，簡單一點點，謝謝了！

英文幽默故事：
There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, 「How come this guy is $5,000? That』s so expensive for this kindof parrot.」 The owner said, 「Because I have trained him and he can talk.」 So the customer asked him, 「How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?」 The owner said, 「Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That』s why he』s so expensive.」 Then the customer said, 「How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?」 The owner of the shopsaid, 「I don』t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him 『The Boss.』」
老闆最大 有個人到一間商店買鸚鵡。店裡有三隻鸚鵡，其中一隻賣五千元，另一隻賣一萬元，還有一隻賣三萬元。顧客問老闆：「為什麼這只要賣五千元？這個價錢對這種鸚鵡來說太貴了！」老闆說：「因為我有訓練他講話。」顧客又問：「那這只呢？他會做什麼？為什麼要賣這么貴？」老闆說：「他除了會說話之外，還會表演一些有趣的動作，好比說跳舞等等，所以才賣這么貴。」顧客接著又問：「那第三隻呢？他會做什麼？為什麼要賣這么貴？」老闆說：「我不知道。我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌，也沒看過他跳舞，什麼都沒有！不過另外兩只叫他：『老闆！』」

Where is the egg?
Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?
Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.
Teacher:Then where is the 「egg"?
Student:In the cake,Sir.
雞蛋在哪裡？
老師：你能用「雞蛋」一詞造句嗎？
學生：可以。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。
老師：「雞蛋」在哪？
學生：在蛋糕里，先生

Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,「Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?」 「No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.」
湯姆是個小孩， 他才7歲。 當他去電影院的時候。那時他第一次去。他買了張票進去了。 但沒過兩三分鍾他就出來了，然後買了第二張票又進去了。 幾分鍾後他又出來買了第三張票。 接著兩三分鍾後他又出來買票。 一個女的問她，「你為什麼要買那麼多票啊? 你見到了幾個朋友？" "沒有， 我裡面沒朋友， 但是每當我進門的時候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了"

Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.
Man:He is really somebody.What does do?
Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery
他真是一個大人物
小孩：我叔叔下面有1000個人。
男人：他真是一個大人物。他是干什麼的？
小孩：墓地守墓人。

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
一名偉人
老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎？
學生：當然。因為到目前為止，還沒有人活到400多歲。

Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.
史密斯先生：服務員，我的湯里有一隻死蒼蠅．
服務員：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被燙死的．

Son: Dad, give me a dime.
Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?
Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?
兒子：爸爸，給我一角錢。
父親：兒子，你不認為你已經長大了，不該再老是一角一角地要錢了(該自立了)，不是嗎？
兒子：爸爸，我想你是對的，那給我一塊錢行嗎？

A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate. Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have a crush on someone else in the class, when they』re eight or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-oldkid came back home and asked his father, 「Father, is it expensive to be married?」 And the father said, 「Yes, son, it is very expensive.」 So the son asked, 「How much does it cost?」 And the father said, 「I don』t know, son. I』m still paying.」
有個小孩愛上了另一個小孩，對方是學校的同學。八歲或十歲左右的孩子有時會迷戀班上某個人，然後就以為自己戀愛了。因此這個八歲的小孩回家問他爸爸：「爸爸，結婚很花錢嗎？」爸爸說：「是啊，兒子，非常花錢。」兒子又問：「要花多少錢呢？」爸爸說：「我不知道，兒子，我到現在還一直在付錢啊！」

"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
「孩子，你為什麼用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了嗎？」
「沒有，老師。可是你昨天說你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵里進，一個耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在裡面。」

「I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .」
「Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!」
「Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .」
「對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。」
「20美元！為什麼？不是說好只要4美元。」
「是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。」

TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.
老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理。現在，誰給我舉個例子？
約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長，在冬天天都短。

The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"
"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".
教進化論的老師已經滔滔不絕地講了快兩個小時，他的話題又來了：「讓我向進化論者提個問題——如果我們曾經像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那麼現在尾巴到哪裡去了？」
「我來試試看，」一位老太太說。
「該是我們在這里坐這么久把它們磨掉了吧。」

A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the st. He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river." He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the st and eat them. Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
【譯文】 一個人正朝著一個富人的房子走去，當他沿著路走時，在路的一邊他發現一箱好蘋果，他說：「我不打算吃那些蘋果，因為富人會給我更多的食物，他會給我很好吃的東西。」然後他拿起蘋果，一把扔到土裡去。 他繼續走，來到河邊，河漲水了，因此，他到不了河對岸，他等了一會兒，然後他說：「今天我去不了富人家了，因為我不能渡過河。」 他開始回家，那天他沒有吃東西。他就開始去找吃的，他找到蘋果，很高興地把它們從塵土中翻出來吃了。 不要把好東西扔掉，換個時候你會覺得它們大有用處。

A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」

Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一塊兒回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」

Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"

安眠葯
鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫生，醫生給他開了一些強力安眠葯。
星期天晚上鮑勃吃了葯，睡得很好，在鬧鍾響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老闆說：「我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有。」
「好啊!」老闆吼道，「那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了？」

G. 簡單的英語小笑話(帶翻譯）

1、Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：這個座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。  

2、Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？ 女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。 

3、My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!  Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 

我的狗不識字。布朗夫人：哦， 親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！ 布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。」

4、My Wife Will Exchange Them。A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.   ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.  ″Makes no difference ″replied customer.   ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.  ″Any″ he responded. 

″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″ 

反正我太太明天會來換的。一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。 「您是要布的還是皮的？」售貨員問。 「沒什麼區別。」這位顧客回答。 「那您要什麼顏色的呢？」售貨員又問。「什麼顏色都成。」他回答。 「號碼呢？」 「您就隨便給我拿一副吧，」這位顧客有點不耐煩了，「反正我太太明天都會來換的。」 

5、A  physics Examination，Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.  The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?   

Nick『s answer: Because  our eyes are before ears.   

一次物理考試。在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。這個問題是：為什麼在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲？尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在後。  

6、Jim』s History Examination。Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him  things that happened before the poor boy was born.   

吉姆的歷史考試。舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎麼樣？母親：唉，糟透了。可話又說回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。 

7、he is really somebody。-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.   

他真是一個大人物。-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。-- 他真是一個大人物。干什麼的？-- 墓地守墓人。

(7)英語小閱讀帶翻譯簡短擴展閱讀：

笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。其趣味有高下之分。

人類歷史上，人自從有了語言，就已經出現了開玩笑的語言，最早，人們以口相傳，後來有了文字，許多笑話便被記載下來，編書成冊。但還有很多笑話，是流傳於民間的，就當今社會，每天都有很多笑話出現，有心人如果收集，我想將來一定會有價值。

同時豐富了笑話的寶庫。隨著近十年網路和手機的飛速發展，隨之出現了網路笑話，網路流行語，給力大全，手機笑話，雷人語句，笑料聯盟等，促使笑話發展到一個新的階段。