高中搞笑的英语阅读理解

『壹』 我喜欢安静,看一些搞笑综艺,读一些有关时事的书英语翻译

1.I like to read some books of beneficial mind and bodies.
2.I like most to read some campuses to make to smile novel.Because read that kind of a book,can develop an own sense of humor.
3.I always optimistic ground to life.

『贰』 六年级英语阅读，字数么、、和练习里的差不多，最好是有点幽默的，还要有中文翻译，篇数越多越好，有加分

建议：去外文书店买一本小学生英汉对照读物或初级英汉对照读物（故事或童话）。

『叁』 最近,英语老师让我们组织了题为,你是否喜欢阅读英语幽默故事,的讨论

拍毕业照那天，一帮女生在我不远处摆pose合影留念。我坏笑着问基友：“男生到了晚上会玩三国杀、玩dota，你说女生都玩些什么呢？”话音刚落，听到那群女生齐喊：“茄子！ ”

『肆』 求一篇英文幽默短文,附带阅读理解题目

On the first day of college,the Dean addressed the students,pointing out some of the rules:"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students,and the male dormitory to the female students.Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued:"Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60.Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180.Are there any questions?"
this point,a male student in the crowd inquired:"How much for a season pass?"

『伍』 哪里有幽默的英语阅读理解

推荐《新概念英语2》给你，课文不会太长，而且难度不大。虽然不是专门的阅读理解题，但很多课文都很幽默。如果你觉得过于简单，可以看看第三册。去试试吧

『陆』 关于英语幽默短文运动完怎么放松肌肉带翻译阅读

The Policeman and the Thief
Once, a new policeman caught a thief in a small town, and decided to bring him back to the police station in the city. On their way they came to a shop where bread was sold. “ We have no food, and we must be hungry after a while. Let me go into the shop and buy some bread for us. Wait here for me.” The thief said.
The policeman agreed with him and waited in the street for a long time , but thief didn’t come out of the shop. The policeman began to be worried ,and ran into the shop, he couldn’t see the thief but the back door of the shop.
The policeman had to go back to the police station alone, and he was very unhappy.
Luckily, the policeman caught the thief at the same place the next day. When.they walked though the same street and the same shop, “ Wait here,” said the policeman “ Last time you ran away from the shop. This time , I’ll go into the shop and buy the bread , and you must wait here for me.”

警察与小偷
一次， 一个新上任的警察在小镇上抓住了一个小偷，他决定把这小偷押送到城里警察局去。在路上，他们路过了一家面包店。“我们没带吃的，呆会儿肯定会饿的，让我去给咱们买点面包。你在这等等我啊。”小偷说道。
警察同意了，并在街上等了很长一段时间，但是，小偷一直没有从商店出来。警察开始担心了，他跑进商店，除了一扇开着的后门，他什么也没看见。
警察不得不很郁闷的独自回到了警察局。
幸运的是第二天，他在同一地方又抓住了那小偷。当他们路过同一条街，同一家商店时，“在这等着我，”警察说道，“上次，你从这家商店溜了，这次，我去买面包，你必须在这等我！”
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
钉子还是苍蝇?
一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。

于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。

这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。
My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow
My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow.

A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.

"Cloth of leather?" asked the salesperson.

"Makes no difference, "replied customer.

"What color?" asked the clerk.

"Any," he responded.

"Size?"

"Give me whatever you prefer," the gentleman said, slightly

exasperated. "My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them."

反正我太太明天会来换的。

一位先生走进一家商店要买付手套。

“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。

“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。

“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。

“什么颜色都成。”他回答。

“号码呢？”

“您就随便给我拿一付吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

『柒』 用英语翻译中文 有80%的同学喜欢阅读英语幽默故事

There are 80% of the students who enjoy reading funny English stories.

『捌』 一个小幽默不懂英语的人看阅读理解的感受

不少地区接到报告，深夜时份，某个路口前都停满了车，车主纷纷求救：“兄弟们，我现在回不了家了，前面路口的红绿灯只有黄灯不停的一闪一闪的，咋整啊？大家帮我想想办法？”

『玖』 适合七年级阅读的幽默英语小故事过去式

有一个年青人复,过年回家吃团制圆饭,因回家的路上有一段坟墓,据说常常有些很诡秘的事情发生，所以母亲特别交代要早一点回家。可是在坐公车回家途中,又遇到塞车,於是这个年青人就在车上睡著了,等他醒来时已经午夜十点多了,他看看车上没有半个人,司机也不在，而车子又缓缓在行进中,还有吵杂声,他转头看到外面就是那一段坟墓,他不禁感到一阵恐惧,不知所措，颤颤兢兢，於是就想探头出去看个明白,谁知......就见司机说:“还在睡,还不快下来推车!”

『拾』 内容是美国式幽默或幽默的英语文章(阅读理解,短文也可)

http://www.taohai.com/cn/newsdetail.asp?id=2547
这个是老友记的剧本，里面都是美式幽默。。你可以看看～

或者
TGIF vs SHIT
a man met a blond in the elevator.
he greeted her: "T-G-I-F"
but got the reply: "S-H-I-T"
he was startled, but repeated "T-G-I-F"
again the reply was "S-H-I-T"
he was frustrated and said: "T-G-I-F, I mean Thanks God It's Friday"
the blond looked at him saying: "S-H-I-T, I mean Sorry Honey It's Thursday"

http://www.chinaunix.net/jh/33/545296.html