关于2人英语对话笑话阅读

㈠ 求一篇较长的英语2人对话的笑话,要有中文翻译

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
完美儿子
A:我有一个很完美的儿子.
B:他抽烟吗?
A:不抽.
B:他喝威士忌酒吗?
A:不喝.
B:他会不会很晚回家?
A:不会.
B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了?
A:下个星期三就满6个月了.

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

㈡ 2人英文对话是笑话的和中文翻译 10句左右

3.A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.

Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.

Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"

一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。

母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，“露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。”

露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：“您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗？”

㈢ 求一英语笑话,要2人对话,5分钟左右

Hu is leading China

Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
Bush: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
Bush: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
Bush: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
Bush: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
Bush: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
Bush: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
Bush: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

㈣ 急求两人对话的英文笑话

好的-----
---
1．DoYouKnowMyWork？
Onenightahotelcaughtfire，．
．
“BeforeIcameout，”saidone，“．Peopledon'tthinkofmoneywhenthey'reafraid．，thefireburnsit．．．”
“Youdon'tknowmywork，”saidtheother．
“Whatisyourwork？”
“I'mapoliceman．
“Oh！”criedthefirstman．Hethoughtquicklyandsaid，“Anddoyouknowmywork？”“No，”saidthepoliceman．
“I'mawriter．I'．”
译文：（自己简单翻译）
你知道我是干什么的吗？
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡衣就跑了出来。
两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”
“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。
“你是干什么的？”
“我是警察。”
“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。
“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”

㈤ 给我一篇两人英语对话的幽默笑话

.两个人对话的英语笑话篇1

A Woman's Answer

女人的回答

A husband said to his wife, "Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish'?"

一位丈夫对妻子说：“为什么上帝把女人创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?”

"Well," his wife answered at once. "The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them."

“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很简单。上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。”

两个人对话的英语笑话篇2

妻子的祈求

Two men were talking at the break-room. One was telling the other about a fight he had had with his wife. "In the end"he said, "I had her begging on her knees."

两位男士正在休息室淡论着。一位对另一位说起他与妻子的一场争斗。他说：“最后，我迫使她跪下来求我。”

"What did she say?" asked the coworker.

“她怎么求你的?”另一位很好奇。

"She told me to come out from under the bed."

“她求我快点从床下爬出来。”

㈥ 几个英语小笑话～要对话（两人的）式的

Father,"Oh , my dear ,I'll be so happy that I'll die if you get full cents."
Son,"Well,dad.Take it easy . I won't let you die ."
译：
父亲：噢，亲爱的，如果你考满分的话我会高兴得要死。
儿子：嗯版……放心吧，爸爸权。我不会让你死的。

㈦ 英语两人小对话——笑话

guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
要译文找我！！更多英文小笑话在链接里面回有！答！

㈧ 2人英文对话是笑话的和中文翻译 10句左右

1."Waitress," shouted the impatient diner, "do I have to sit here and starve all night?"
“服务员，”用餐者不耐烦地叫道，“我必须整晚坐在这儿挨饿吗？”
"no, sir, we close at nine o'clock."
“不，先生，我们9点关门。”
2.A teacher said to her class：
“Who was the first man？”
“George Washington，”a little boy shouted promptly．
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man？”asked the teacher，smiling inlgently．
“Because，”said the little boy，“he was first in war，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen．”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand．
“Well，” said the teacher to him，“who do you think was the first man？”
“I don't know what his name was，”said the larger boy，“but I know it wasn't George Washington，ma’am，because the history book says George Washington married a widow，so，of course，there must have been a man ahead of him．”

有个老师问班上的学生：
“谁是第一个男人？”
“乔治?华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。
小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”
“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治?华盛顿娶了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”

㈨ 英语的小笑话（二人对话的）

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可版怜的老太婆，”他回答说。权 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

㈩ 找一篇对话形式的英语笑话【两人】

(This is guaranteed laughs in the Chinese classroom. It was originally a
bit in a Pink Panther movie).
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the
shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"
The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
Submitted by Rick Bell
________________________________________
There were three restauraunts on the same block. One day one of them put
up a sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the City."
The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign
which said "The Best Restaurant in the World."
On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said
"The Best Restaurant on this Block."
Submitted by Jim J. Johnson
________________________________________
A lorry driver is driving 200 penguins to London Zoo when his lorry breaks
down on the motorway. The driver gets out of the cab and is looking at the
engine when a second lorry driver stops in front of him and asks if he
needs help. The penguins' driver explains that he is taking the penguins
to the zoo and asks if the other man would
take the penguins there. He agrees.
Some hours later, the 2nd lorry driver drives past the first one, who is
still waiting on the motorway. The penguins are still on the lorry, and
look happy.
"I thought I asked you to take those penguins to the zoo," shouted the
first driver.
The second replied, "I did, but I had some money left, so we're going to
the cinema now."
(Present continuous / just for fun)
Submitted by Jeremy Hookway
________________________________________
One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of
the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and
immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furioulsy,
although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be
disqualified. He ignored the warning, finished the test 10
minutes later, and went to hand the test to his instructor. The instructor
told him he would not take the test.
The student asked, "Do you know who I am?"
The prof said, "No and I don't care."
The student asked again, "Are you sure you don't know who I am?"
The prof again said no. So the student walked over to the pile of tests,
placed his in the middle, then threw the papers in the air.
"Good" the student said, and walked out. He passed.
Submitted by Mary Cobb Neighbors
________________________________________
A woman got on a bus, holding a baby.
The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle
seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what

was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't
say
things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a
piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Submitted by Abu Ablaziz (Kuwait)
________________________________________
James was walking down the road one morning when he met his friend Danny.
"Morning, Danny. Er ... Danny, you're wearing a glove on one hand and none
on the other. Did you know?"
"Yes, well I heard the weather forecast this morning, you see."
"The Weather forecast?"
"Yes, the weather forecast. the forecaster said on the one hand it might
be fine but on the other hand there might be some rain."
(Cantonese students have problems with "on the other hand" because there
is a similar expression in Cantonese that means "in addition". This joke
helps highlight the contrast implied.)
Submitted by Dick Tibbetts, Macau
________________________________________
This worked fine with my level 200a on up.
A man got a parrot which could already talk. It had belonged to a sailor
and had a big vocabulary. However, the man soon discovered that the parrot
mostly know bad words. At first he thought it was funny, but then it
became tiresome, and finally, when the man had important guests, the
bird's bad words embarrassed him very much.
As soon as the guests left, the man angrily shouted at the parrot,"That
language must stop!". But the bird answered him with curses. He shook the
bird and shouted again, "Don't use those ugly words!" Again the bird
cursed him.
Now the man was really angry. He grabbed the parrot and threw him into the
refrigerator. But it had no effect. From inside the refrigerator,the
parrot was still swearing. He opened the door and took him out, and again
the bird spoke in dirty words and curses. This time, the man opened the
door of the freezer , threw the bird into it, and closed the door.
This time there was silence. After two minutes, the man opened the door
and removed the very cold parrot. Slowly the shivering parrot walked up
the man's arm, sat on his shoulder and spoke into his ear, sounding very
frightened:
"I'll be good, I promise...Those chickens in there.. what did they say?"
Submitted by Peggy Datz
________________________________________
I think this joke is funny and so far, all of my intermediate to advanced
ESL classes have agreed with me.
A ck walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender.
The bartender says "What can I get you?"
Duck: Umm. Do you have any grapes?
Bartender (looking surprised and finding the question odd):
No, I'm afraid we don't.
And the ck waddles slowly out of the bar.
The next day at the same time, the ck waddles into the bar, hops up on a
bar stool.
Bartender: Hi. What can I get for you?
Duck: Umm. Do you have any grapes?
Bartender (a little annoyed): Hey! Weren't you in here yesterday. Look
buddy, we don't have any grapes. OK?
The ck hops off the stool and waddles out the door.
The next day, at the same time, the bartender is cleaning some glasses
when he hears a familiar voice
Duck: Umm.. Do you have any grapes?
The bartender is really ticked off.
Bartender: Look. What's your problem? You came in here yesterday asking
for grapes, I TOLD you, WE DON'T HAVE ANY GRAPES!! Next time I see your
little cktail waddle in here I'm going to nail those little webbed feet
of yours to the floor. GOT me pal?
And the ck hops off the bar stool and waddles out.
The NEXT day at the same time, the ck waddles into the bar, walks up to
the bartender and the bartender says,
"What the heck do YOU want?"
Umm. do you have any nails?
What!? OF course not.
Oh. Well, do you have any grapes?

----
I taught my students waddle, webbed feet but you could teach What the heck
do you want, pal, barkeep, bartender, etc
It is also good to review "any"
________________________________________
A man's dog has a problem so he takes him to the vet's. The vet looks at
the dog and says that he'll have to take him to the examining room. In the
examining room, he takes a cat out of a cage and lets the cat walk all
over the dog, but the dog doesn't do anything.
The doctor say "Your dog is dead."
The man goes out to the receptionist and asks for his bill.
"That'll be $325" says the receptionist.
"What! $325? How's that possible?"
"It's $25 for the consultation, and $300 for the Cat scan."
NOTE: The students might not recognise the word CAT scan.
Submitted by Christine MacBrien (as told to her by her brother Dave in
Toronto
________________________________________
The two beginning ESL students went to Honolulu on holiday. Soon they
began to argue about the correct way to pronounce the word "Hawaii." One
student insisted that it's Hawaii, with a "w" sound. The other student
said it was pronounced like "Havaii," with a "v" sound.
Finally, they saw an old native on the beach, and asked him which was
correct. The old man said it's "Havaii." The student who was right was
very happy, and thanked the old man.
The old man said "you're velcome."
Submitted by: Brian Madden
________________________________________
Every day, an ESL teacher was seen coming out of the rest room with a
marker, used for writing. In the rest room were expressions and graffitti
written on the walls. It was very bad. Finally, the Director of the school
called the teacher into the office and told the teacher that it was
terrible of him to write those things on the walls. The teacher said that
he was not the one writing those things. All that the teacher did was to
correct the grammar.
Submitted by: Brian Madden
________________________________________
"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy.
"Why not, son?"
"Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had
chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs
died and we had roast pork the next day."
"But why don't you want to go today?"
"Because our English teacher died yesterday!"
________________________________________
A man was driving at 80 kph one day when he was passed by a 3-legged
chicken. He accelerated and passed the chicken. Three minutes later the
chicken passed him again as he was driving at 100 kph. The man tried to
catch the chicken but it ran down a side road. The man followed it into a
farmyard but couldn't find it anywhere. He saw the farmer and told him the
story and the man asked for an explanation. The farmer said that he, his
wife and his son all liked chicken legs so he bred 3-legged chickens.
"What do they taste like?" asked the man.
"I don't know", replied the farmer, "we haven't caught one yet"
Submitted by: Alastair Rice
________________________________________
This one will perhaps only be good for your more advanced students.
A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman
refuses to serve him saying rudely, 'Sorry but we don't serve the likes of
you. Get out!'
The piece of string leaves the bar feeling glum, he walks down the road
and then he sees two girls who he asks for help. 'Please,' he says to one
of the girls, would you tie a knot in me?' This she does. 'Please,' the
piece of string says to the other girl,'would you mind taking your comb
and fluffing out the ends of my string?' so the girl obliges.
'Thank you' says the string and he turns around, goes back into the bar
and immediately orders a drink again.
The barman looks at him quizzically and says 'aren't you the piece of
string that was in here a moment ago?'
'No' came the answer, 'I'm a frayed knot.'
Submitted by: Catherine
________________________________________
Three rich brothers each wanted to do something special for their elderly
mother on Mother's Day. The first brother bought her a huge house. The
second brother gave her a limousine, with a driver. The third brother
remembered that his mother used to love to read the Bible, but couldn't
see well anymore, so he got her a specially trained parrot that could
recite any verse from the Bible on demand.
Soon, the brothers received thank-you notes from their mother. The first
son's note said, "The house you bought me is much too big! I only live in
a small part of it, but I have to clean the whole thing!" The second son
got a note that said, "I rarely leave the house anymore, so I hardly use
the limo you gave me. And when I do use it, the driver is so rude!" The
third son's note said, "My darling baby boy, you know just what your
mother loves! The chicken was delicious!"
Teaching Notes: We previewed some of the vocabulary, such as limousine,
trained, delicious, and gave a printed of the joke to the students as
part of a reading activity. We knew they were finished when they started
chuckling. If the reference to the Bible would be inappropriate for your
class, you might adapt the joke by substituting "the classics")
Submitted by: Eve Ross
________________________________________
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very
nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took
the parrot and put it in the freezer.
The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped.
George thought to himself, "On no! I froze my aunt's bird to death."
He opened the door and saw the bird alive!
The bird said, "I'm sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again.
George said, "Why the change?"
The bird answered, "Because I saw what you did to the other bird.
(HInt: He saw the frozen chicken.)
Submitted by Erin McCluskey
________________________________________
A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to
live.
He went home feeling very sad, and when his wife heard the sad news she
said to him, "Honey, if there's anything I can do to make you happy, tell
me."
The preacher answered, "You know, dear, there's that box in the kitchen
cabinet with what you always called "your little secret" in it and you
said you never would want me to open it as long as you lived. Now that I'm
about to go home to be with the Lord, why don't you show me what's in that
secret box of yours?"
The preacher's wife got out the box and opened the lid. It contained
$100,000 and three eggs.
"What are those eggs doing in the box?" the preacher asked.
"Well, Honey," she replied, "every time your sermon was really bad I put
an egg in the box."
Now the preacher had been preaching for over forty years, and seeing only
three eggs in that old shoe box, he started to feel very proud about
himself and it warmed his soul.
"And what about that $100.000?"" he asked.
"Oh, you see," she whispered softly, "every time there were a dozen eggs
in the box, I ..sold them."
Submitted by Tim Allen, Switzerland
________________________________________
A man goes out of prison after twenty years. He decides to go back to the
neighbourhood where he lived. When he gets there he cannot recognize the
place. Everything has changed a lot. The places he used to visit have all
disappeared. Even the pub has disappeared.He is very tired and would like
to have something to eat. He goes into a small café and has a coffee and a
sandwich.When he takes out his wallet he finds a shoemaker ticket in it.
He then remembers that the last thing he had done before being arrested
was to take a pair of shoes to the shoemaker's. He decides to go there and
try. What a wondeful thing! The shoemaker is still at the same place. He
gets into the shop and tells the shoemaker that about twenty years before
he had left him a pair of shoes to have them repaired. The shoemaker has a
look at the ticket and says: "O.K. Come back tomorrow. They will be ready
then." Some things never change.
Submitted by Christine MAZEAU
________________________________________
I was once told by a Japanese student that this is an old story.
One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were
sitting around the grasshopper's house drinking beer.
They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they
decided one of them should go out for more beer.
The snail said, "I'd go, but I'm kind of slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this
is your neighborhood so you know where to go."
The grasshopper said, "I don't mind going, but my hopping will shake up
the beer and we'll get sprayed every time we open one."
So they decided to send the centipede; and the grasshopper explained how
to get to the nearest liquor store.
An hour or so passed and still the centipede hadn't returned, so the snail
and the grasshopper decided to go look for him.
They got as far as the the front door and found the centipede sitting
there putting on his shoes.
Submitted by Rodney A. Hoiseth - Roth Corporation
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