小学英语阅读幽默
❶ 求小学生英语幽默故事
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl ring the whole trip.
英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
❷ 小学英语课堂的幽默知识有哪些
咱们是同行，学生抄都说我很幽默袭，但你要让我总结幽默语言有哪些，我还真说不好。因为幽默是一个人的性格，作为教师，在课堂教学中，会遇到许多许多突发情况，老师的性格不同，解决的方法也不相同——有的老师严厉、有的老师幽默……我从没有在备课时想好在今天的课堂上用哪几句幽默的语言，那真的是自然而然、水到渠成的事。
❸ 小学生英文幽默故事
爱因斯坦，，被公认为是自伽利略、牛顿以来最伟大的科学家、物理学家，被美专国《时代周刊》评选为“世纪伟人属”。查理·卓别林，20世纪著名的英国喜剧演员，现代喜剧电影的奠基者，在世界范围内享有盛誉。他们这样的两个人在一起会聊什么呢?
Meeting between Einstein and Chaplin
卓别林和爱因斯坦间的搞笑英语对话
爱因斯坦：What I admire most about your art is that's universal. You don't say any word and the whole world understands you!
对于你的艺术，我最惊奇的就是它如此的国际化，你一个字也不说，但是全世界的人都懂得起。
卓别林：True. But your glory is greater! The world admires you while no one understands you!
这个我承认，但是你的荣誉更大，你的东西全世界的人都懂不起，但他们还是如此敬佩你。
❹ 小学生英文幽默故事的本书目录
Unit 1a，e，i，o，u的发音
第一单元 神奇的果园
Lesson One a [æ] A Cat’s Foreign Language老鼠的外语
Lesson Two a [ei] It Is Part of the Game这是游戏的一部分
Lesson Three e [e] The Best Present最好的礼物
Lesson Four i [i] I Have His Ear in My Pocket他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢
Lesson Five i [ai] My Dog Doesn’t Bite我的狗不咬人
Lesson Six o [ɔ] I Was Not Lost.我没有迷路
Lesson Seven o [əu] I Broke Them All我把它们都敲破了
Lesson Eight u [ʌ] A Man with a Gun持枪男人
Lesson Nine u [ju:] Just Use a Pencil就用铅笔吧
快乐总复习Who picks more apples? 谁摘到更多的苹果？
Unit2 ar，er，ir，or，ur的发音
第二单元 开心农场
Lesson Ten ar [ɑ:] ASmartAnswer聪明的回答
Lesson Eleven er [ə] I’m the Driver我是司机
Lesson Twelve ir [ə:] A Bedtime Story about Birds关于鸟的睡前故事
Lesson Thirteen or [ɔ：] A Bad School Report差的成绩单
Lesson Fourteen ur [ə:] The Nurse Should Give Me Some Money护士应该给我钱
快乐总复习Who lays more eggs? 谁下的蛋多？
Unit3 oa，oi，oo，ou，ow的发音
第三单元 奇妙的泡泡
Lesson Fifteen oa [əu] A Different Roast Every Day每天的烤肉都不同
Lesson Sixteen oi [ɔi] A Noisy Girl and Five Hundred Ducks一个吵闹的女孩和500只鸭子
Lesson Seventeen oo [u] A Lazy Brook懒惰的布鲁克
Lesson Eighteen oo [u:] She Is a Fool她是傻瓜
Lesson Nineteen ou [au] Other Moms Also Want to Be Proud 其他妈妈也想骄傲
Lesson Twenty ow [əu] Follow the Flies跟着苍蝇走
Lesson Twenty-One ow[au] It’s Raining Now.正在下雨呢
快乐总复习Who blows more bubbles? 谁吹的泡泡多？
Unit4 ee，ie，ue，ea，ai，aw的发音
第四单元 美丽的项链
Lesson Twenty-Two ee[i:] That’s Why I Keep the Bigger One那就是我为什么要留大些的
Lesson Twenty-Three ie[i:]. Take This Piece and Cut It into Two拿走这块，然后切成两块
Lesson Twenty-Four ue[u:] Who Put Glue on My Chair谁把胶水弄到我的椅子上
Lesson Twenty-Five ea[i:] Before a Meal Or After a Meal饭前还是饭后
Lesson Twenty-Six ea[e] Hit on the Head with a Cake 用蛋糕打头
Lesson Twenty-Seven ai[ei] Did She Miss the Train她误火车了吗
Lesson Twenty-Eight aw [ɔ:] To Draw Out All His Savings去取出他的全部存款
快乐总复习Who makes a longer pearl necklace? 谁做的珍珠项链长？
Unit5 y，ay，ey，oy的发音
第五单元 采蘑菇
Lesson Twenty-Nine y [i] Who Is Lazy谁偷懒
Lesson Thirty y [ai] But My Teacher Cried可我的老师哭了
Lesson Thrity-One ay [ei]. You Can’t SayNo to the Teacher你不能对老师说“不”
Lesson Thirty-Two ey[i] A Good Way to Ask for Money要钱的好方法
Lesson Thirty-Three oy [ɔi] Little Roy’s New Trousers小罗伊的新裤子
快乐总复习 Who picks more mushroom? 谁采到更多的蘑菇？
Unit 6 are，air，ire，ear，eer的发音
第六单元 魔力气球
Lesson Thirty-Four are [ɛə] He Scared Patients Out of My Office他把病人从我诊所里吓跑了
Lesson Thirty-Five air [ɛə] So Little Hair and So Much Hair 这么少和这么多的头发
Lesson Thirty-Six ire[aiə] Your House Is on Fire你的房子着火了
Lesson thirty-Seven ear [iə]/[ɛə ] Feeding the Teller with a Pear用梨喂出纳员
Lesson Thirty-Eight eer [iə] There Is Only One Deer只有一只梅花鹿
快乐总复习 Who can fly? 谁能飞起来？
Unit 7 C，ck，ch，tch的发音
第七单元垂钓者的乐园
Lesson Thirty-Nine c + a/e/ i/o/u [k]/[s] Only One Cake Left只剩下一个蛋糕了
Lesson Forty c在结尾 [k] A Magic Stove神奇的炉灶
Lesson Forty-One ck [k] One More Ticket再来一张票
Lesson Forty-Two ch/tch [tʃ] Watching TV with a Candle on点着蜡烛看电视
快乐总复习Who gets more fish? 谁能钓到更多的鱼？
Unit 8 n，nk，ng，ing的发音
第八单元省钱小能手
Lesson Forty-Three n [n] Bring Me the Winner把获胜方拿给我
Lesson Forty-Four nk[ŋk] Why Do You Drink So Much Water你为什么喝这么多水
Lesson Forty-Five ng [ŋ] A Father with Long Hair长发爸爸
Lesson Forty-Six ing [iŋ] Shake It to Ring摇一下就会响
快乐总复习Who gets more lollipops with less money? 谁花钱少，买的棒棒糖多？
Unit 9 x，l，r，dr，tr的发音
第九单元妙手园丁
Lesson Forty-Seven x [ks] A Text Message手机短信
Lesson Forty-Eight l[l] Wake Up. Time for Sleeping Pills.醒醒，该吃安眠药了
Lesson Forty-Nine r [r] Sorry I Don’t Want to Buy Them对不起，我不想买了
Lesson Fifty dr [ dr] Our Driver Is Very Poor我们的司机很穷
Lesson Fifty-One tr [tr] Having Trouble Seeing Things看不清东西
快乐总复习Who saves more flowers? 谁救活了更多的花儿？
Unit 10 ge/dge，gh/ ph，sh，th，s+清辅音，igh，qu，tw
第十单元 妙手抛球
Lesson Fifty-Two ge/dge [dʒ] I Change My Mind我改主意了
Lesson Fifty-Three gh/ph [f] It’s Not Enough, Either.那也不够呀
Lesson Fifty-Four sh[ʃ] Who Broke the Dishes?谁把盘子摔破了
Lesson Fifty-Five th [θ] Your Face and Mouth Tell Me That你的脸和嘴告诉我的
Lesson Fifty-Six th [ð] One More Father再来一个爸爸
Lesson Fifty-Seven s +k/p/t [sg/sb/sd] I Thought You Called Another Student我以为你叫另一个学生
Lesson Fifty-Eight igh [ai] He Was Too Busy Last Night他昨晚太忙了
Lesson Fifty-Ninequ [qw] Who Can Answer My First Question谁能回答我第一个问题
Lesson Sixty tw [tw] Twice Twenty二十的两倍
快乐总复习Who can throw up more balls?谁能抛起更多的球？
我是如何帮助林克进行英语阅读的？
编写花絮
❺ 求几篇小学英语幽默小故事，要中英文对照
Bad Day——倒霉的一天
There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink. He stayed like that for half an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him, took the drink from the guy, and drank it all down.
The poor man started crying. The truck driver said, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I was late getting to my office. My boss was outrageous, and fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and when I left it, I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drove away. When I got home, I found my wife in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
一个男人坐在酒吧里，看着自己的酒发呆。他这个样子已经有半个小时了。这时，一个好惹事的卡车司机走到他旁边，从他手里一把抢过酒杯，把酒喝了个精光。
可怜的男人大哭起来。卡车司机说，“拜托，哥们，我只是在和你开个玩笑。这样吧，我再给你买一杯，我实在受不了看着一个大男人哭。”
“不，不是那样的。今天是我这辈子最倒霉的日子。首先，我上班迟到了，我的老板是个蛮横的家伙，他把我炒了。当我离开办公楼去取车时，发现我的车被偷了,警察却说他们对此无能为力。于是我只好打车回家，下了车，我发现钱包和信用卡都落在了车上，但那个出租车司机已经把车开走了。我回到家，发现我老婆和园丁正在床上鬼混。我离开家，来到这个酒吧。而现在，正当我考虑要结束我的生命，你出现了，还喝了我的毒酒。”
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl ring the whole trip.
英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
❻ 小学生 英语幽默小短文
The Three Lazy Ones
A king had three sons whom he loved equally well， and he did not know which of them to appoint as king following his own death.
When the time came for him to die he called them to his bed and said， “Dear children， I have thought of something that I will reveal to you. The one of you is the laziest shall become king after me.”
The oldest one said， “Father， then the kingdom belongs to me， for I am so lazy that whenever I lie down to sleep， and a drop falls into my eyes， I will not even close them so that I can fall asleep.”
The second one said， “Father， the kingdom belongs to me， for I am so lazy that when I am sitting by the fire warming myself， I would rather let my heels burn up than to pull my legs back.”
The third one said， “Father， the kingdom is mine， for I am so lazy that if I were going to be hanged and already had the rope around my neck， and someone put into my hand a sharp knife with which to cut the rope， I would let myself be hanged rather than to lift my hand up to the rope.”
在一个遥远的地方，有一个国王，他有三个儿子，对每一个儿子他都非常喜爱，他不知道自己死后应该把王位传给他们三个中的哪一个。所以，当他快要死的时候，就把他们叫到身边说：“亲爱的孩子们，在我死后，你们三个中谁最懒，谁就继承我的王位。”老大说：“既然这样，这王位就是我的，因为我是最懒的儿子，当我躺下睡觉时，有任何东西落到我的眼睛里，我也懒得去擦掉，即使不能把眼睛闭上，我仍然会继续睡觉。”二儿子说：“爸爸，王位应该传给我，因为我是最懒的儿子。当我坐在火边取暖的时候，就是火燃到我的脚趾，我也懒得把腿收回来。”第三个儿子说：“爸爸，这王位是我的，因为我是你最懒的儿子，如果我就要被吊起来，绳子已经套在了脖子上，有人把一把锋利的小刀塞在我手里，要我切断绳子，我宁愿被吊起来也懒得抬起手把绳子割断。”
❼ 小学英语幽默 短文
(1)幽默短文 Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。
(2)幽默小短文 I work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
❽ 小学的英语幽默小短文！！！！越短越好
I know who God is!
A boy says to her mother, "Mom, is God a man or woman?"
The mom thinks a while and says, "Well, son, God is both man and woman."
The son is confused, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
The mother replies, "God is both black and white, honey."
The son, still curious, says after a while, "Is God gay or straight, mommy?"
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, "Son, God is both gay and straight."
The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: "Is God Michael Jackson?"
【2】
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
A little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right." said a gentleman. " Don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb. 'Barking dogs don't bite'?"
"Ah, yes." answered the little boy. " I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too.
Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.
"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."
He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.
"What's that, Bobby?" "
Horsey, " said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"
布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。 布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。”
他从书架上拿下一本自然书，把博比抱到膝上，打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。
“博比，这是什么？” “马马，”博比回答。 他又指了一张老虎的画片，博比回答说：“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的画片，博比说：“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片，博比说：“爸爸！” [注]horsey: 马（儿语） pussy：猫咪（儿语）
❾ 小学英语情景幽默对话大全四人
第一篇
Mike(M) Danny(C), Tommy(T)---classmates
地点:Scene----in the college dorm大学宿舍
Danny is playing a computer game on his laptop. Tommy is sleeping.
Mike came back from a morning jogging.
M: hi, Dan, what are u doing?
D: I am playing war craft.
M: Where is Tommy?
D: Shiiiii!
M:What? What's the matter?
D: Don't u see? He is still sleeping.
M: My goodness! I can't believe this! It’s almost nine. He got to get up now. Don't u remember we are required to make up a three people dialogue for tomorrow's oral class?
D: Yes, I do. You wake up Tommy and I will play one more round of war craft.
M: You'd better stop playing right now. We don't have much time to prepare this dialogue. Tommy! Tommy! Wake up! Time to wake up!
T:five more minutes, please.
Mike: No way, Jose. Time really flies.We still have a lot to do. Hurry up.
T: (Tommy sits up in his bed) Can I lie down two more minutes, please, just two more minutes? when Danny finishes his game, I will be fine.(Yawns) I don't know why I am so so sleepy. (Tommy lies down again.)
M: Guys!!! I am really angry now. Time waits for nobody. If you two don't stop what you are doing now, I will find somebody else to be my partners.
D and T: all right. All right. We listen to u.
M: That's more like it. We need will power.
D and T: what is will power?
M: Will power is trying hard not to do something that you really want to do.
D: You mean like trying not to play war craft?
Mike: right.
T: you mean like trying not to stay up late?
M: right.
Danny turns off his computer. Tommy gets up and goes to the bathroom.
Two minutes later the three maskeetters are working on their assignment.
Danny: Mike, can I take a little break? Let me play one round and we will continue our work?
Tommy: Mike, Can I lie down a minute? My back hurts.
Mike: No! No! No! Let's finish our work first before we do anything. We need will power!!!
Danny and Tommy: that's true. We need will power! We listen to you.
第二篇
TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”